Lonely
by Hannalore Dayne
Summary: Sequel to "Hypothetically". Lex is very, very lonely. He has only bourbon to keep him company. But wait! Who's this? Could it be...
1. Guest

Disclaimer: Blah blah. Blah blah Lex, blah blah Lana, blah blah. I do, however, own the housekeeper! She's so cool! She's my favorite character now.

Note: This is Part 5 of The Saga. The Saga is my little series of Smallville stories which read as follows: Just Friends, As Close As You'll Ever Get, Too Close, Hypothetically, and now Lonely. And just as a note! Since Part 2, the Romance genre has been slowly slipping out of this series. Well, IT'S BACK! Ha ha ha. (Now it can slip away again? Never mind.)

There he was, sitting at his desk, with another bottle of bourbon and another shotglass. Lex stared moodily at the full bottle. He had actually been happy today. He didn't know why. Now it seemed impossible, though he didn't know why he was depressed, either. He remembered last night, how the bottle just seemed to empty itself. _I shouldn't do it again,_ he told himself. _I won't._ He opened the bottle and filled the glass. "Just one," he said very firmly. But after he had downed it in one swallow, he couldn't think of anything to do besides drink another.

Lex wasn't an alcoholic. He knew what those were like. He just needed to think, and to stop being depressed. It wasn't like he drank all the time. A glass a day, maybe, and one with dinner, but that was social drinking, normal drinking. He was just so, so lonely tonight. Last night had been a little different. He hadn't even realized he was drinking. Tonight he knew perfectly well, and he didn't care. There was no one in the mansion but his housekeeper and she hated him. It wouldn't kill her to clean up one more bottle, anyway. It wouldn't kill him, either. He never got sick. Not since the meteor shower.

After the second harsh glass, Lex stopped and got up from his desk. His office was large and forboding. The pool table in the corner was covered for the night, and he didn't want to check his email again. The Metropolis scientists would never analyze his rock. He looked out the window. Same view as last night. Exactly the same. Suddenly it irritated him the way the vista outside his window never changed. Why should he have to look out at the same damn wheat field every day? He shook his head and headed back to his desk.

For a moment he just stood there, staring at the bottle. It was filled with golden liquid, standing on the table innocently like bottle of ginger ale. Lex laughed. It was like ginger ale with benefits. His laugh sounded unnaturally loud in the deathly silence that drove him to check his email four times a night and drink bourbon until he started comparing it to ginger ale. He poured himself another glass and sat down. Maybe tomorrow he wouldn't be so lonely, but tonight he was desperate.

A knock came on his door. "Come in," he said automatically, startled. His housekeeper entered. 

She took one look at the glass in his hand and said, "You empty that bottle and I beat your hide." His housekeeper was a portly Hispanic woman who looked like she'd been through a war. He believed her when she threatened him. He put up his hands in surrender and set the glass down. "Besides, you have a guest," she said. "An _underage_ guest. Put the bottle away."

Lex leaned forward. "Who's the guest?"

"A Miss Lang?"

His eyebrows raised. "Show her in," he said, surprised.

"I will," she said dryly. "You pay me, don't you?"

Lex put a hand to his temple when she left. He needed new help. Curiously he checked his watch. 10:21. What was Lana doing here so late?

"Here she is," announced his housekeeper. "You give me a call if you need anything, honey," she told Lana, who had appeared in the doorway. The woman gave Lex a look that spoke of torture should he empty that bottle. He smiled fondly. She rolled her eyes and shut the door behind her.

"Lana Lang," he said. "What brings you to the House on Haunted Hill?"

Her lower lip was trembling and she was twisting her fingers. He realized that something was very wrong. "Lana," he said in a completely different tone. "What's wrong?"


	2. Tears

"I broke up with Whitney," she said. Her voice cracked on the name and he knew that she was distraught. "Just now. Just five, ten minutes ago…!" Her eyes began to fill.

"Hold on, now, hold on," he said, leaving his chair and coming around to where she stood. She sobbed once and took a deep breath. "Hey," he said. "How do you feel about that?"

She looked totally helpless. "I don't _know…_" The last word was almost a wail. She took a breath that was sort of a hiccup. "I tried to tell Clark, but he wasn't home and then I remembered that you said I could come if I needed to talk and-" She took another breath, eyes about to spill. Her nose was turning red. "I just don't know what to do!" She shook her head and bit her lip. "That sounds so stupid, I-"

"No," he said softly. "No, it doesn't, not at all. Shh…" He reached out and rubbed her arm supportively. With a wail she flew into his arms and broke down, sobbing hysterically. Lex tried not to fall over with the imbalance and patted her back awkwardly as it seemed like the appropriate thing to do. "Uh," he said. She didn't hear him. "H-how'd you get here?" he asked, clearing his throat.

She stepped back and wiped her eyes. "I took Nell's car," she said, sniffing loudly. "She still think's I'm at Whitney's." Her face crumpled again and she put her face in her hands. Lex crossed the room quickly and found a tissue dispenser on a shelf.

"Here," he said, offering one to her. 

She took it and wiped her eyes with disjointed little gasps. Then she blew her nose and asked, looking at him with red eyes, "Do you have…?" He nodded and took the tissue. As he threw it away, he heard her take several deep, shuddering breaths and let them out. When he turned back, she looked a little calmer. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just feeling so… _helpless…_" She bit her lip trying not to cry again.

He shook his head. "It's fine," he said gently. "I understand. It's a big thing you just did." He smiled. "Want some water?" he asked.

She nodded after a moment. He got a blue bottle from his miniature refrigerator and handed it to her. "Thanks," she said.

"No problem," he responded. Feeling inexplicably tired, he gestured to the bottle on his desk. "You mind if I…?"

She shook her head. "No, go ahead." She sniffed and opened her water as he filled the shotglass to the brim. His housekeeper would kill him if he had more than one, so he had to make it last. As he sipped she watched him. "I wonder where Whitney and I went wrong," she said softly.

He looked up. "Well, some relationships just aren't meant to be," he said. "The odds don't favor happy couples."

Lana smiled bitterly. "Yeah," she said. "I just don't know what I'm going to do now." She breathed out. Her voice was trembling.

"Well, for what it's worth," he tried, "I think you made the right decision."

She gave him a flat look. "I know you do," she said. "You've been singing Clark's praises for a month now."

Lex shrugged. "Always trying to help out a couple friends." He felt better now that she wasn't crying. Crying made him uncomfortable. He felt out of control when someone was weeping, and that he hated most of all.

She shook her head. "I can't talk to Clark yet. Not for a few days, anyway. It's a little soon to be thinking about new relationships," she said, voice teetering on the point of hysterical.

He nodded understandingly. "It's up to you." She nodded, smiling tightly. Looking down at her water, she unscrewed the cap and drank some. That reminded him of the glass he held in his hand. He took another sip and when she wasn't looking, downed the rest.


	3. Fifteen

Setting the glass down for the last time that night, he rounded his desk again and leaned against its edge, arms folded. "So what did you say to him?" he asked after a moment.

She shrugged, eyes down. "I told him that I didn't think it was working out, and that we needed some time away from each other. He took it pretty well… t-the worst part," she said, new tears standing out in her eyes, "was that he wasn't even surprised. It was like he was expecting…" Her mouth twisted, and tears began to roll down her face again.

This time Lex knew what to do. He took her water, set it on the floor, and hugged her tightly. She wrapped her arms around him, body shaking with her sobs. Her body felt very small and delicate in his arms. The timing of that stray thought was unsuitable, but he didn't brush it away. Perhaps it had something to do with the four drinks he had in him. He reached up and stroked her hair gently, rocking back and forth very subtly. He had a vague memory of his mother doing that to him when he was young and upset. Lana's hands tightened on his back. He shivered, shaking with her sobs. She drew away and said, "Oh… you're shirt's all wet-"

Lex tilted her chin upward and kissed her gently. He felt her stiffen with shock; then she leaned into the kiss, shuddering with one last, tiny sob. Lex had no idea what he was doing. It was if he had gone on autopilot again- only this time, the part of him that should have protested was glowing, burning, weak with an emotion he had never thought he'd feel towards Lana Lang. He kissed her again, deeper, harder, and encircled her waist firmly with his arms. Her hands ran over his neck and she pulled him towards her. They made no sound, just movements as they stood in the middle of Lex Luthor's office.

For a moment Lex felt guilty about Clark, and even Whitney, but it was only a moment, and soon he had forgotten both of their names. Then his tongue was in her mouth and he was wondering how the hell that had happened and his shirt was on the floor. It was then that he woke up from his stupor and remembered that she was fifteen.

"Lana," he managed. Her hands were tangled around his neck and his were holding her waist underneath her shirt. "Lana," he said again, voice weak and barely above a whisper.

"Yes?" she said breathlessly. The sound of her voice almost made him lose it again, but he repeated in his head, _Fifteen, fifteen, _and continued.

"You have to go," he said, voice the tiniest bit stronger.

"What?" she asked.

"You have to go, you have to leave, now…"

"What?" she said again, but her voice was sharper this time.

He tried to disentangle himself from her arms. "I can't… we can't… I-"

"Lex," she said in his ear. Her breath tickled him and he thought he would collapse. "If I wanted to leave, I would…" She kissed him softly. "I'll say what I can and can't do." Her fingers brushed the back of his neck. He shivered and tried desperately to make himself move, to make his brain work and to make all of it stop, but his autopilot drew Lana to him and covered her soft, full lips with his own. She smiled under the kiss and smoothed her hands down his back. His head was burning and he couldn't stop, he would never be able to even if he wanted to now. It was like a train doomed to wreck. He put his mouth on her neck, trying to touch all of her skin at once. She gasped.

"Lex…"


	4. Remember

The next morning Lex jerked himself awake. He sat up, gasped, and looked around. He was no longer in his office; he was in his bedroom, alone. He realized that he was naked under the blankets, and suddenly he remembered last night.

"No," he whispered. He put his head in his hands and desperately tried to remember what had happened. He remembered drinking. He remembered Lana crying, and kissing him, and then… his mind was totally blank. He squeezed his head as if in a vice. "Try, try," he whispered fiercely. He remembered kissing her, and telling her to leave, and then-- absolutely nothing. "No!" he said angrily. The minute he spoke his head seemed to split open. He cried out, bending double reflexively. Gasping, he clenched his teeth. He couldn't remember anything. And even if he could, his hangover would have hidden it from him…! He put his head in his hands and shook silently, weeping with no tears, screaming with no sound. He couldn't… remember…


End file.
